Cerita · Curhat · Hidup · Pikiran

I am a Laserquest

I just found out one of Alex’s masterpieces just about a week ago. It was ‘Love is a Laserquest’.

I was wondering about the meaning of the song. It was just happened that I didn’t even know what ‘laserquest’ meaning there. So it was just like game soooo ooon.

So that I think to myself up til now,  whether I still see a love is a laserquest. I think I’m still not good enough to have a relationship yet. I’m still too young, my mindset about having relationship isn’t matured yet. No, maybe I’ve already known how to do a good one, but I just can’t implement it. Or maybe I don’t want to.

So that now I’m in a relationship, but I can’t manage mine well. Sometimes I just don’t care about her, while she care so much about us. Sometimes maybe I got bored, or maybe I just want to be alone. With the hectic brain of mine, it’s just that I need my own quality time, just without her, or maybe quality time with friends.

Sometimes I just want to end it all, but I knew that I’ll regret it. Because we’re just fine. No. I mean she’s fine. I am the one who’s not fine. I’m not well.

There’s no reason to put our relationship on the line. Yet, I dont want her to have her getting treated like this.

In other side, I love it how our hand locked. I love it how I got fluttered when our eyes met. I love it when she did the calculus shit. I love the smell of her hair. I love it how she listened my stories. I love it how she accepted my own self. Yet it’s just like a short term benefits.

I don’t know about the future. I don’t know what kind of things that we could build.

Maybe I think too much?

Maybe it’s just fine, but I just make it not fine.

I don’t even know what I want and what I do.

I wanna run away. (Shit the playlist i listened to just played run away by The Kooks)

Maybe.

I am a laserquest.

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